You’re probably wondering why I have chosen to talk about my testimony and faith rather than talking about the usual fashion and beauty related stuff. Well, here’s the reason. When I started this blog, my whole idea was to uplift other women and to bring them hope. So today I thought that rather than just encouraging them to love their bodies and giving advice on what to wear, I needed to give them hope and encourage them and anyone who visits this site, by using my testimony and by acknowledging what my God, the Lord Jesus-Christ, has done for me.
PS: this testimony is only for those looking for the message of hope and not for anyone who would be negative. So please if this is not the topic that you like or you find this offensive, then this is not for you and you don’t need to read this. Please no negative comments. THANK YOU
The story began last year in January 2018 when I went to get my eyes checked. After running a few tests, the doctor referred me to an ophthalmologist for what she believed was a de-attached retina.
Well, it turned out she was right. I was suffering from de-attached retina, and this condition required me to have a surgery right away on both eyes. But Since I couldn’t afford to get a surgery on both eyes, I only did one eye at that time.
It was January and school had just begun, and so, because of that, I had to ask the ophthalmologist about how long it would take me to recover. I wanted to know whether I should drop my classes for the semester or continue. He told me that the recovery from that surgery is usually fast and that it takes people just few days to get back to normal. Hearing that my recovery was only going to take me a few days, I decided to not drop my classes but to continue (Sadly the surgery had to take place on Valentine’s day).
RECOVERING FROM SURGERY
Though the doctor was very confident that it was only going to take me a few days to recover, It wasn’t at all the case for me at all. I had such a slow recovery that it took me almost two weeks for my eye to go back to normal because it was too red and too swollen and I couldn’t open it. Sadly for me, I had to rely on one eye to see (the worse eye).
Two weeks after the surgery, my eye went back to normal, Finally! But when I thought that I was well enough to go back to school, I begun to experience sever headaches. These headaches affected my vision that I was unable to see well enough to read or to drive around. This condition, unfortunately lasted another two months. Do you know what that means? Two months without attending school.
During those painful two months, I had to miss my first 2 regular tests from each classes, quizzes and every other opportunity to make-up for what I’ve missed. The only thing I was able to do from home in spite of the sever headaches and vision changes, was my homework and I was also able to access some class lectures, since they were online. But my grades did not look good. I was making an F- while I only had a month left of school.
WHEN GOD STEPPED IN
At this point, I can’t tell you how much I was tempted to just drop my classes but couldn’t. I remembered all the struggles that I have experienced this semester alone and giving up felt like all my effort was for nothing. I already knew that I was failing, but for some reason, I felt proud to receive even the lowest grade. To me, even those failing grades meant that I was still a student in spite of everything I went through since my entire college life (even harder experience). Attending school and finishing that semester meant more to me than anyone could ever imagine.
Though I didn’t want to drop my classes, there was times where I was so tempted to just give up. It was too hard and almost impossible to keep going. But every time I felt this way, I would feel as if God was telling me to “ASK”. At first I doubted that it was God. But then I was really convinced that it was Him because every preaching I have heard at that time was about “asking God for the impossible”. And so I asked and said “ Lord Jesus-Christ, I’m failing my classes and I only have a month left of school to make better grades. Please help me pass”.
When I said that prayer, I expected no response because I still wasn’t sure that it was Him who told me to ask for help. But that changed when I heard “What grade do you want to pass this class with?” As surprised as I was, I almost said “a C” (which 70% to 79%, and lowest passing grades). But I stopped myself and said “if the King of kings is asking me to choose my grade, then I better ask for a better passing grade”. I wanted to tell Him to help me pass with an “A” which are grades between 90%-100% the highest grades. But then the devil stepped in with doubt and begun to have me look at my situation which was: the failing grades, the time I had left for school, the severe headaches, the bad vision, and the stresses of being a new mom. I could almost hear him whisper “are you crazy? You have an F-, what makes you think that you will pass?”
Though there was so much doubt inside me, I decided to ask God for a grade better than a C. And So, I asked for a “B” which are grades between 80% and 89%. Just as I had asked God to give me a B, again, I could hear the enemy whisper and say “ Rachel, you know that you’re exaggerating, right? You asked for a B? you should have at least ask for that C even though it is impossible. What makes you think you can get a B? Just take a look at your current situation.”
MY EXPECTATIONS VS. GOD’S PLAN
When I asked the Lord to give me a B, I expected Him to answer my prayers the way that I wanted Him to. I expected Him to help me pass all the regular tests that I had left before the semester was over. In this case, I had 2 tests left from each classes. As I was waiting for God to answer my prayers my way, I didn’t know that He was saying to me “uh-uh Rachel, you want to pass these classes? Then things have to be done MY way”. Meaning, He didn’t plan to help me pass these classes the easy way. He had to take me on a scarier road so that I would know that it was Him who helped me and that it wasn’t my own might.
Since I only had 2 regular tests and one final exam left to take in each class, I thought that God was now going to help me pass my regular tests. And so, I studied really hard in spite of the illness. I said to myself “God helps those who help themselves.” But even though I studied so hard, I still failed all the regular tests that I had left to do before the semester ended. And each time I failed, I would feel discouraged and hopeless.
There’s something about me that that you should know. I like to play it safe. This is what I mean: I like to study hard and pass my regular tests, especial the first 2 or 3 tests. That way, I can use them as my back up grades just in case I end up failing the last regular test or/and final exam.
The devil, however, tried to make matters worse, he would whisper “I told you Rachel, there’s no hope. I told you not to exaggerate but you did and now look. You brought your hope so high on what was clearly impossible.”
FIRST FINAL EXAM
Though I didn’t count on the finals to help me pass (I never did), I wasn’t angry with God for not letting me pass my regular tests. I just thanked Him and said to myself “well maybe God wants me to take these classes again next semester.” Boy! I was wrong.
It was finally time to take the final exams, and my first one was supposed to start at around 5pm on a Monday, while my second one was on Tuesday at 8am. Without realizing that I was studying the wrong things, I spent so much time studying for the class that was harder. I didn’t know that the teacher had given another review online. Fortunately for me, I was in a group chat with students from that same class when one mentioned the new review. At that time, I only had 2 hours before I could take the exam and then, my head started to really hurt. Despite the headaches and the fact that I only had 2 hours left, I still studied and memorized the second review.
God was so good to me and I thank Him for the classmate who mentioned the second review. While taking the exam, I realized that the second review on which I have spent only 2 hours studying, contained more than 80% of the entire test.
PREPARING FOR THE SECOND FINAL EXAM.
I returned home at around 7pm and when I arrived there, my son was cranky and wanted to be held, which as very unusual for him. He would rather play by himself or sit in from of TV to watch Little Baby Bum. But on that night, he only wanted mommy to hold him. Two hours later, when he finally calmed down, I decided to study for my next exam that was the next morning.
Just when I thought that everything has finally calmed, my head begun to hurt even more than it was before. This affected my studying.
I was very fortunate that my second teacher didn’t give the class a long and complicated review like the first one. Instead, he handed us all our regular tests since the semester started, and told us that he was going to use those same exact questions. The teacher was kind enough to give me the questionnaires of the first two tests that I have missed due to the surgery and long recovery, to allow me to study for the test. I missed 2 months of school and studying for the first two tests that I missed was a little hard. Keep in mind that the questionnaires of the tests that the teacher gave me to study didn’t have any answers.
Since my head was hurting too much, it was too hard to read or to stay focus. So I decided to nap for about 45 minutes hoping that I would get better. Long story short. I didn’t feel any better and ended up studying until 4am. But God is faithful, as I was reading Test number 3 (I decided to read the exams that I didn’t miss), something kept pushing me to read test #2. But since I missed that test, studying and memorizing it took longer that I could only study the second and the half of the third test. At this time was so sure that I was going to fail because I only studied about 35% of the exam.
FINALLY, TIME FOR THE SECOND FINAL EXAM
On the day of the test, I got up after only getting two hours of sleep and my head wouldn’t stop hurting. But In spite that, I still went to school and prepared myself to fail. But even as I thought that I was going to fail this exam, I still thanked God for helping me get through this hard semester. I wasn’t angry at God for not helping me. I just told Him that It was my fault and that I should have tried harder.
As I was walking to school, expecting myself to fail, well, I didn’t know that God had a surprise waiting for me. Remember how I told you that when I was reading the test #3 the night before, I felt like something was pushing me to read test #2? And how I sure I was to fail because I thought that I had only studied about 35% of the entire tests? Well guess what? Turns out, I studied 100% of the test. The teacher only handed me the test #2 to test over.
The teacher said that he was going to use all the 4 tests from the entire semester, but didn’t specify that he was going to give each students one of the test.
I thank the Lord Jesus-Christ for not letting me waste my time on studying every question from all 4 tests. He led me to only study test #2 even though I already started with test #3.
It felt pretty darn good returning home from doing both exams because for the first time this semester, I was sure to have passed.
A few days later, I received an email from both teachers saying that both my final exams and semester grades were posted. Since I was very sure that I was never going to pass my classes (I told myself that the final exams results were never going to save my semester grade), I only wanted to read the final exam grades and not the other.
I saw that I had passed both my exams. I had a B on my first exam and an A on my second exam, and seeing those grades gave me courage to want to see my semester grades.
And there, was the surprise from my God. I PASSED BOTH MY CLASSES WITH a B+. He gave me exactly what I asked Him, if not more because I only asked for a B but He gave me a B+. Besides passing these two classes, I had also received my HIGHEST GPA since starting college. How amazing is that?
Sometimes God asks us to ask Him for things, but unfortunately, we humans don’t trust him enough to ask Him for greater and impossible things. Rather, we listen to the devil and his discouragement or we trust other human being.
I encourage you to start asking God for hard and impossible things. You don’t know what He might just do. My God gave me the highest GPA since starting college, even after I had a child of less than nine months before, a surgery, chronic and severe headaches, and some vision problem. Also, I forgot to mention that I was pregnant with my second child.
Jesus is the only true and living God.
I Hope that this testimony has blessed you today. The reason for this testimony is to give you hope and to tell you that nothing is impossible with Jesus.
Until next time, may God bless you and answer your prayers.