Hi there! Aren’t you just so tired of hearing people, friends, family, or strangers tell you “Well girl you need to lose weight” or “ girl you really let yourself go” or I like you better skinny”. I don’t know about you, but I’ve gotten so sick and tired of hearing it. I get it, in today’s society there’s only a certain type of people “skinny girls” that are considered pretty and acceptable. But why don’t we embrace the different types of beauty that this world has to offer? I mean, we all can’t look the same, right? Just think of how boring this world would be if we all identical.
I used to be a tall teen who weighed less than 120 pounds in high school. I was the kind of girl who would always dress up to school and was even asked numerous times if I even considered modeling. Right after high school, well, reality hit. Just weeks after graduating, I was forced to grow up. I was 17 at the time. Everything turned from hello childhood to goodbye mom and dad and hello full-time job at a warehouse, just to keep myself from becoming homeless.
In life when reality hits, it hits hard. It becomes impossible to stay healthy. Junk food, sweet beverages and ice cream became my friends, and before I knew it, I gained almost 100 pounds in a year. And that’s when the bullying began. It felt like everyone who felt ugly inside would use my weight gain as tool to make me feel ugly. They did it so much that I began to wonder if making me feel ugly made them feel prettier.
Anyway, I had to do something. I knew that the best revenge was to love my body and to take care of myself. I believed that those who made fun of me did it so I would hate myself, and so I decided that I had to do just the opposite. That was when I learned to love my new body and to embrace it.
I want to share with you the steps that I took to rebuild my confidence while I was being broken. This will not be easy but I strongly encourage you to try it.
Self-Confidence is always Key
What’s the first thing you see when you look in the mirror?
1. Do you see first the things that you love about yourself?
2. Do you first see the things that you hate and wish you
If your answer’s 1, then yeah! that’s wonderful! However if
your answer’s 2, then I believe that you should consider this article.
Most of the time we waste our breath and energy talking
about our bullies and everything they say to us without realizing that a lot of
the time we are our own biggest bullies. We spend most of our time repeating every
single words that they say and what they think about us rather than focusing on
finding our potential or anything that we like about ourselves. That’s why
ladies, I’ve got some simple solutions of how to get rid of those negative
voices and how to replace them with something positive
The 6 Steps to embrace your curves and love your body
Step 1. Find the real you
Go to your mirror. Preferably a long one to allow you to see yourself entirely. Try to find 2 to 3 things that you like about your own body and write them down if you can. Do this every morning. Then look at them and nothing else.
Tips: Don’t look or think about what others said to you or think. Instead, focus on what you think. For example: if you love your lips, write down: I have really gorgeous lips. And every time you look into a mirror, fix your eyes to it and then repeat, out loud, the things that you wrote about your lips.
Step 2. Appreciate and compliment your body
like I said in the first step always look at yourself from your own point of view and not what others think and then compliment yourself whenever you get the chance. Remember you may get many compliments from other people but it will never mean anything if you’ve never done that to yourself. Listen, we live in the world where people don’t seem to be satisfied by other’s appearances. There’s a lot of shaming going around already. Why not start by complimenting yourself and removing the social pressure of making yourself into what everyone else believe be perfect. So don’t wait to get compliments, give yourself one, you deserve it. No one else can compliment you the way you do. So start with a little compliment to yourself.
Tips: Again don’t be afraid to love that something about yourself even when nobody else seems to like it. #ThisIsYourTime. Who cares about what anyone else thinks?
Step 3. Accentuate those curves
Now that you have found something about your body that you love some much and have complimented it, now it’s time for the most exciting part of it all. Show it! What other ways can you show how proud you are of a part of your body than to accentuate it? Ladies you are what you wear. Nothing shows confidence better than the way you carry yourself (the way you dress). So please get rid of your baggy yoga clothes and unflattering outfits, use them as your chores outfits and not as you’re going around clothes. Show off your curves, arms, and legs (in a classier way possible of course), wear high heels, make-up, style your hair, give yourself a makeover and do it as much as you can. And if you don’t want to look fancy every single day ( it can be exhausting), learn to do an everyday simple look. If you don’t know what style to get, then checkout step 5. Find a role model.
Step 4. Never ever tell your weakness, especially to your envier
Try as hard as you can to not give your shamers aka secret admirers a chance to say anything wrong about you. Don’t repeat what they say, don’t give them that power. I refer to them as your secret admirers because they are. You might not agree with me right now but you are like a celebrity to them, they just don’t know it. So don’t go around complaining to them about your body. The best revenge is to walk around with a head high and treat the world like it’s your runway. Don’t ever let them see your weakness, instead show them the queen that you are.
Step 5. Find a role model
Watching the media can make it quite difficult to accept yourself because most of the time Television producers usually hire women of what they consider to be “the ideal beauty”. The media shouldn’t stop you from embracing yourself. Thankfully, now days there are public figures like Queen Latifah and Ashley Grant who are among the faces of beauty in the plus size industry. Watching women like them could actually help you appreciate your own curves and body. Truth is, being thick never equals to being ugly. In fact finding public figures like yourself can actually help you realize that you can be bigger and still look extremely beautiful. This step can also help you to copy the way that they carry themselves, especially if you can’t figure out your own style yet.
Step 6. Be the bigger person:
You heard that right, be the bigger person. Be Sympathetic. You need to understand that not everyone has had the same experiences in life. Understand that some of the people who bully others act this way due to the lack of satisfaction about themselves, some due to a lack of love and attention can become filled with jealousy and comparisons. Others think that bullying is nothing but normal human behavior “until someone else does the same to them”.
That’s why you need to understand that there are people who would really love to receive some kindness and to feel beautiful. So, why don’t you make their days. Show them kindness and give them a compliment. They probably haven’t had that in a while.
Finally, where do you go from here
After you have found the real you, embraced and accentuated yourself, make sure to learn one very important thing NO ONE IS PERFECT. In my years as a beautician, I found one common thing on all my clients. No one is ever happy with what they have and everyone wishes they were created differently, no matter how beautiful they are. So always remember that even the most beautiful and accomplished person wishes that they could change somethings about themselves. So, love yourself because you have no idea who wishes they were you.
Don’t worry too much about the negative. Focus on the positive and reward yourself once in a while.
Also don’t forget to smile cuz you’re beautiful!